Wednesday, August 17, 2011

{a love of numbers & how counting calms my heart}




I have always loved numbers.
  Sometimes people ask me why I have such an affinity for numerals and I am pretty sure my standard answer has always been somewhere in the realm of "because I like the way they look..."

...but that isn't really true. I DO love the way a simple digit will turn a sign into a conversation piece or a pillow into a piece of mathematical art. I love the way a group of numbers will turn a table top into a game board or a chalkboard into a funky frame for lists. The possibilities for using numbers in art are endless, and they have a certain allure when drawn out in certain fonts, but none of these are the truth behind my reasoning or love of integers. 
  The reality is this. Numbers calm me. They soothe my heart...equalize my soul...even if I don't realize it they steady me. Ease my mind. Allow me to think more clearly.
I can not take my walk without finding myself counting...not the steps I take or the cracks I cross over. Not the trees I pass or the birds I see fly overhead. Just numbers. Lots of numbers. It is a tonic for me. A way to push the worrisome thoughts aside. A mental pushup. A subconscious workout.
 Sometimes it is the counting itself that brings me awake to what I am doing. An uncomfortable situation...a scary thought...a nervous moment. Suddenly I am awake and I am counting. It is as if my brain realized the overwhelming process that is taking place and switches gears of it's own accord. Is it normal? Probably not. Does it help me? Who knows. But it DOES allay my fears...a simple and often endless string of numbers stroking my thoughts, disburdening my mind.

 So I love numbers.


I live with OCD and counting helps... it is just another one of life's sweet bonuses that numbers look so great in ART FORM.








5 comments:

Sandi Keene said...

Let me count the ways I think you are terrific...

Lee said...

I would never have guessed...
I had a student with OCD. He was never in school on time. Too many things to do over again and again. He was also mentally and emotionally challenged. So many burdens.
I dream about numbers after playing too many sudoku games but feel lucky that I don't have those hurdles.
Thank you for sharing that part of yourself. You are amazing.

Lorraine Bell said...

And can you count high enough to number the people who love and admire you?

Lorraine Bell said...

And a little note for Lee - please be patient with your student. As a mother of a daughter with OCD, I have watched her struggle her entire life to cope with this debilitating disorder and thankfully along the way, there were teachers and friends and mentors who were understanding and patient and accepting. They made all the difference in her life! As a parent, I am forever grateful to those who were compassionate!

Petite Michelle Louise said...

I count "you" as one of my blessings....

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...